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I was delighted to be commissioned by Woman's Way to write this article, below I include some more detailed info on two of the processes and free downloadable body maps.

If you would like to connect more deeply and authentically

with the energy of your sexuality in your life, whether in or out of relationship check out my 'Ecstatic Woman' 5 session series here and for couples click here 

Map your erogenous zones:

Taking turns in each role, with your lover embark on a 20 minute journey of exploration.

  1. Colour code the different sensations. 

  2. Note on the body map what parts of the body are most responsive to what kinds of touch. Be adventurous, use your hands, your mouth, your tongue, your breath, your hair or beard.

  3. Checking in with your partner, fill in the information on the body map,

  4. Try to identify on a scale of 1 to 10 the intensity of the sensation.

  5. Is a particular sensation:

  • relaxing and sensuous (orange)

  • hot and sexy (red)

  • comforting and grounding (purple)

  • Ticklish or irritating (blue)

  • Painful or sore (black)

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Ideally you should have a map that includes the first 3 and some no-go areas for the last 2

As you work with the maps you’ll find that an area or type of touch that works well at the start of sex may become irritating with repetition. A type of touch that was ticklish at the start may become wildly exciting as arousal increases.

For your first two goes leave the genitals out of the exercise, but notice when your genitals respond directly to a certain touch elsewhere on your body. Trace a line, on the map, from that area to your genital area.

Soul Gazing Exercise


(Set a gentle sounding alarm for 10 minutes. Turn off all phones, doorbells etc.)


Sit opposite each other,  close enough to really see the other person’s eyes.

Now, close your eyes and connect in with yourself. Feel the weight of your body on the chair. Notice your breath, invite your breath deep into your belly. Breathe through your mouth, (at least the out-breath).

After a few moments of settling open your eyes, and with a soft receptive gaze allow yourself to be seen by your partner.

Keep breathing, allow emotions to come and go, try not to enter a story about them, just notice.  From time to time scan your body and invite any areas of tension to relax a little.

When the alarm sounds close your eyes and reconnect with yourself.  Breathe, feel the weight of your body on the chair, your feet on the ground. Give yourself some silent words of appreciation for entering this process. Then slowly open your eyes.

Thank your partner with a hug.

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